Adjusting to Change By Dave & Laura Nichols

Upon meeting Dave & Laura, it’s obvious these two share a pretty close bond. They both have a great sense of humor, calming energy, and contagious smiles. Below, they share their experience with brain injury.

TBIs come in all varieties. Can you share a little bit about your injury and the challenges associated with it?

DN: I have a severe traumatic brain injury and Diffuse Axonal Injury--also called DAI. It’s a pretty serious injury. My challenges are mostly related to balance and coordination. Love Your Brain has introduced me to yoga, which has given me an outlet to help with my balance. I am still using a walker but improving every day. My injury is mostly physical and I believe it can be overcome through hard work and LOTS of repetition. 

For those who do not know, how did you sustain your injury?

DN: I fell while rock climbing. I was lead climbing, so I was going first. When I fell I was above my protection – we estimate 50 – 60 feet. My belayer believes we were likely off route which may have been the reason for the fall. I have no memory of the event, so we will never know for sure. 

Now, 2 years post-accident – what are your biggest reflections?

DN: Life is going to be harder now than it was before my accident. But I still feel good because I know I can do it. 

Have you always felt like that?

DN: Just recently I have been feeling much better about my injury. The accumulation of a lot of good things has given me this new perspective. LYB talks about resilience instead of recovery.  I still want to recover as much as I can, but I think being resilient is a good thing to aim for and I know this is achievable for me. Things now are different for me but I can still find enjoyment and happiness in the things that I can do. 

Along those same lines, what advice would you have for someone who just recently suffered a TBI?

DN: I would tell them to take it slow and to not have the expectation that everything will go back to how it was. But be grateful for friends and family. It is important to remember it will get better. For me, it has gotten better and better with time. 

What advice would you give friends and family of someone who just suffered a TBI?

DN: They cannot do the same things as before but they don’t want to be treated differently because of that. I wish that I could just press the undo button sometimes. But there is no way to do that and it is important to try and move on. 

Do you feel like you have fully accepted your injury?

DN: Not yet. I know of some people who are further along than me in their recovery who say they wouldn’t take back their injury. I still wish I could take it all back so I am not quite there. It feels to me like I was playing a game of Chutes and Ladders. I was doing pretty good in my career and my relationships but then I landed on a big slide that moved me behind everyone else.  But thankfully I am still in the game. 

Has your brain injury changed how you measure success?

DN: Yes. I think relationships are a lot more important to me now. My friends and family have helped me a lot throughout the process. Still working on a girlfriend – but that will happen in time. 

You heard it here – he is single ladies 😊!  Has your injury changed your relationships with your friends and family?

DN: Oh yeah. I live at home now with my parents. My mom has become a caretaker and is doing a great job. Living back at home has brought me closer to parents. I also feel closer to you (Laura) even though I now live further away. 

You and Adam Pearce have a similar experience of being a sibling to someone with a brain injury. What advice do you have for the family members of someone with a brain injury? 

LN: Things are never going to happen on your time. Be patient. And be present. It is easy to think about what the future is going to look like – but it is not worth investing your emotional time into. I try to be the best support I can be at the moment. And, adding onto one of your earlier points, people with brain injuries do not need to be treated differently. They are still themselves, just with some clogged brain passages. 

What are the 3 best things that have come out of Dave’s brain injury?

LN:- It has, without a doubt, brought our family closer together. I would also say I have met so many wonderful people through TBI events, support groups, LoveYourBrain, etc. People I would have never met otherwise. Lastly, I would say this whole experience has widened my perspective on people with disabilities. I am more likely to notice someone with a disability than I was before the accident, which allows me to lend a helping hand where I can. What would you say?

DN: I agree with bringing our family closer. And I feel like I have met many incredible TBI survivors that have been such an inspiration to me. I hope I can be that for someone else. And lastly, I always have an an out if I want to get out of something. No one can question a brain injury excuse. 😊