Finding my Path into Mindfulness Walks by Brett Tivers
For me sport was my identity, sport was my way of expressing my competitive personality, it was my outlet, being outside exercising in the fresh air gave me the freedom to express who I was and also more importantly, I’ve always used it as a way to destress and to get lost in my own train of thoughts.
Racing 2011 Tour of American Dairylands Criterium
In April 2012, whilst racing for the Garneau-Quebecor Professional Cycling Team, I crashed at 38miles/hour (60km/hr) in Fayetteville, Arkansas with full impact to the back of my head. I slid along the road on my head and back and was knocked out and woke up in the back of the ambulance. I was more concerned about my broken clavicle and was not aware that I had incurred a head injury. I was sent back to the motel from the hospital the same night then flew all day back to Quebec City 2 days later. The following week I had surgery on my collarbone and was told “it's ok to do light exercise”.
Brett (L) with his mom and brother.
In hind-sight, this illustrates the lack of awareness around the seriousness of concussions. My mistreatment and my own lack of awareness definitely did not help with the recovery and vital improvements needed in the first few weeks. In fact I got worse and after 4 weeks of symptoms, it was confirmed I had suffered a traumatic brain injury (TBI). This resulted in my cycling season coming to an abrupt halt. A return flight home to New Zealand was organied by my travel insurance and I was flown “first class” due to my symptoms.
Career over, my focus was to get back to my normal self and I was optimistic of achieving this. 13 months later while taking a PE lesson at a secondary school, I had a rugby ball land on my head with force and at the exact same contact point as my original injury. This proved how much of an impact a secondary concussion has and has left me with lasting TBI issues.
One of my major symptoms as a result of my TBI has been the limited exercise I am able to do. For a long time I had a feeling of being swamped by this consuming injury and no outlet for unwinding and destressing, a feeling of being trapped and restricted which lead to frustrations and anxiety. And not to forget those amazing exercise endorphins from being outside riding.
LoveYourBrain Bell Valley Retreat, 2019.
Fortunately for me I was able to attend a LYB retreat in California in November 2019 and I had a lightbulb moment in one simple task; we were asked to go for a mindfulness walk in silence. The term mindfulness “is the quality of being present and fully engaged with whatever we are doing at the moment….free from distraction or judgement and aware of our thoughts and feelings without getting caught up in them”
As I walked across the gravel road I started to notice the sound of the stones crunching under my feet, saw the trees in the distance waving side to side in the slight breeze and looked up in the sky at the hawk gliding through the air. I felt free from distraction, I felt all my worries and stresses were no longer present and most importantly I felt at instant peace.
I realized then that I had actually been doing mindfulness walks for years. I did them at night when I was racing fulltime to get away from the cycling bubble, the noise and stress of the days racing. I knew I had found a strategy that I can tweak and implement into my daily routine.
Loving the San Francisco 49ers game prior to the Bell Valley LYB Retreat
Coming back to New Zealand I have been working on my mindfulness in combination with yoga nidra and this has really helped decrease anxiety and to alleviate the noise and stress of day to day life.
Having an athlete mindset and being active, I struggled to find a way that mindfulness worked for me. Now, I use two forms of mindfulness walks and adapt which one I use depending on how I’m feeling that day. The first form of mindfulness walks is a day walk where I’m looking for the combination of exercise and mindfulness to unwind my brain from teaching for the day – where I focus on not giving to others, but giving to myself.
I’m hearing the different textures underfoot: the sound of the crunching limestone under my feet or the crunching of the leaves during the fall season here in New Zealand. I’m looking at the wind by seeing the tree branches swaying, at the kids in the distance laughing as they are playing and seeing birds gliding peacefully through the air. I’m hearing the Canadian geese as they cruise over the river. It’s about tuning into all the senses.
Mindfulness Walk New Plymouth, New Zealand March 2020
Earlier this year I was in the middle of a kitchen renovation and was getting overwhelmed by errors that the builders were making and this resulted in my brain feeling overwired and stressed. I decided to go for a walk to calm down. Everytime I started to think about the kitchen drama, I focused on the sound of the crunch of the limestone under my foot and this allowed me to feel free from the distraction of the kitchen and to simply feel free in the moment.
The second form of mindfulness walk for me is at night time where there is zero stimulus which is so refreshing if my head feels really wired. I’m able to focus on peace, feel the wind, hearing my footsteps, noticing the stars and the moon. The silence of the night in pitch darkness decreases my sensory load and makes me relaxed before going to bed. This all results in a better night’s sleep.
On a mindfulness night walk crossing the He Ara Kotahi walking bridge, which is where I live in Palmerston North, New Zealand
Mindfulness walks has taught me to slow down, take a step back, breathe, have a look around into the distance, reflect and realize that: