NEVER GIVE UP BY LEYTON SHEPPARD

On the podium! (2021)

Skiing in 2021

My TBI story started on March 17, 2019. I was a happy, healthy 15 year old boy who loved to ski. I am an alpine ski racer and I suffered a severe traumatic brain injury on March 17th on my first run skiing of the day.  My mom dropped me off at the mountain for some free skiing. From what I was told and from the intentions I had that day, I took a big terrain park jump and really overshot it. I was ejected from my skis on impact, landing face first in the snow. I was immediately knocked unconscious on impact and was airlifted to the hospital. I spent the next 15 days with a severe traumatic brain injury, a broken orbital socket, and swelling in my brain. I was in the hospital for a total of 45 days. The first memory I have after the accident was when I was in the inpatient rehabilitation center and the left side of my body was completely paralyzed.  

I’ve learned that healing takes time. It is always going to be a journey of physical and mental emotions. One has to understand that getting down on yourself and showing frustration is totally okay and normal. The more important thing though is to stay optimistic and look for the positives in everything you do. The happiest days you have are often the most crucial to your recovery process. Being happy and laughing over your flaws and mistakes helps you heal! Some days are better than others and sometimes you take one step forward and two steps back.  But, since healing does take time, it's best to not compare how you are doing day to day, but look at how you are doing week to week, or month to month, or even year to year.  Healing at times may have to do more with rest, and at other times, have to do more with work. Just be patient with yourself and don’t give up or lose any hope in yourself. If you are not patient you are going to start stressing yourself out and this will take the focus away from getting better. It is important to keep things in perspective and realize how far you have come in your life and how lucky you are to be alive. Never give up and know that you are supported and loved. Your best days are still ahead of you. The power of positive thinking has done so much for me and I’m not just saying that from a recovery standpoint. I have always smiled everywhere I go because it does good for yourself and the World. Be happy! There is always something to smile about. Days may be dark, but that doesn’t stop you from making your world shine. Smile today, tomorrow, and everyday after. Smiling is something you never have to stop doing. People look better with happy faces!

For me, moving forward means being the best Leyton I can be. This has always been the thing I tell myself before anything I set my mind to. Whenever I am in the start gate at a ski race, about to do a shuttle run, taking a math test, or getting on my bike for a long ride, I tell myself that “the only thing that matters right now is that I work hard to be the best Leyton I can possibly be”. A lot of people tell me that it’s crazy how much I physically am doing with certain activities and I hear the term “overdid it” come up quite often from my parents. This is true in some cases, however, I am “overdoing it” trying to be the best possible version of me! I have learned that you cannot always expect a gold medal, and you may not even be close to making the podium. The most important thing that I have learned in life is to not look around at others and just do your personal best. The only performance that you can control is your own. I feel we can all have fun in our lives and it is important to set your goals that best suit yourself. Don’t worry about anyone else when it comes to setting your goals. Of course, it is nice and important to have others for support, love, and a caring environment, but rely on what you can control which is doing “Your Personal Best”. 

During my recovery I started doing meditation and more yoga, and the more I would do it, the more calm and connected I felt with the things around me. LoveYourBrain had a yoga class for those affected by TBI near me and this experience was a great opportunity for me to meet others in a calm and healing space. It helped assure me that where I was and how I was feeling was okay. I have used yoga in my recovery from a tough workout, when I need a break from school, and when I want some time to myself. Recently, I’ve gotten into meditation using the Headspace app. I wish I had started meditation earlier. I know that from the perspective of a competitive athlete that I have struggled with severe nerves a number of times when training and in competition. I am still learning about myself and what will help me succeed in separating myself from buildups of nerves, but meditation is so good and can really help. Meditation has allowed me to dig deep inside myself and know that things are always going to be calm somewhere and I can escape the stressful hectic world around me. It feels like a cooldown for your whole body to just sit and do nothing but take in what you feel surrounding you. This exercise can help anyone get to a better place wherever they may be. It is super important to try to relax as much as possible during moments of stress and chaos in your life. 

In the beginning the barriers were physical – learning how to breathe on my own, speak, swallow, drink, talk, move my limbs (as my entire left side of my body was paralyzed), hold my head up on my own, sit up on my own, walk, run, jump, ski, and bike again. There were also mental barriers as I didn’t understand that I had experienced so much that other people hadn’t. I noticed a change in myself in comparison to others like my siblings and classmates. I was functioning quite differently in some ways early on than I previously had. I needed to learn how to do so many things again that seemed so ritual to others. I had to learn how to communicate with my family, friends, and teachers again. I had to learn how to comprehend things efficiently for me again. I loved that I could go back to the life I lived before, but it was difficult at the beginning. I felt as if I was treated so differently and felt as if I had completely changed on the outside to everyone interacting with me. I eventually got back into the swing of things while still recovering physically and life was much calmer. I had to learn to be a student again, return to school and relearn how to manage friendships. I love everyone who supported me during my injury, but I need to stay away from risks for the rest of my life for my head. I almost lost everything. I will not let myself and others suffer for my fault again so boundaries are necessary. You need boundaries to stay safe, and to continue on a positive path. To recover, boundaries are needed to stay disciplined with your rehab.

I wanted so badly to ski race again, and the first season back was hard to compare myself and my results to pre-accident, and realize I was not the same competitor I once was. However, I decided  to stick with it and in my second season back I was seeing huge improvements. This goes back to healing taking time! Sometimes you need to look back a full year or two to see how far you’ve come. 

Photo from race 2021

Now, after being able to get straight A’s in all of my classes and being elected the senior class representative of my school, I will be going to college in one year. I am currently competing at a very high level as a competitive road bike racer and am ranked #1 in my age group in Utah. I am looking forward to another season of ski racing this winter. In the future I want to be a doctor and have volunteered at our local pediatrician's office to practice for my future. I want to give back to the amazing community of supporters who have helped me recover and live the life that I have. I want to help any person out there who feels they can relate to me and my story! Please remember to always stay true to yourself and do not let others affect your process. Set goals for yourself and always keep your head high, regardless of where you are in your goals.

We will all be different and have our own story. Now have your own. Just remember to make the best story that you can for yourself. You are you, and good times will come in everything you set your mind to. You make your world go round.